Car Troubles!
by LaylaBinx
Summary: A short series of cute one shots. BumblebeeXSam[sorta], IronhideXAnnabelle, OptimusXMaggie, RatchetXMikaela, JazzXEpps. Just for fun! Hope you like it! Sorry I had to change the title![grin] It was too long!
1. Questions

**You know this question had to come up...**

* * *

"Hey Sam?"

"Yeah dad?"

Ron looked at his son, trying to find the right words to verbalize the question that had been bothering him for the past few days. "Uh, there's something I've been meaning to ask you."

Sam stopped his stride out the front door and looked back at his father. "What's up?"

Caught between staring at the keys clenched in his son's hand and the yellow Camero that seemed to be inching closer and closer to the window with every second, Ron finally managed to gather his thoughts enough to talk.

"What happened to your old car?"

Sam visibly froze, his eyes widening a little. "Uh…I…uh…"

Ron waited patiently, not really knowing what to expect. His son's car had gone from a beat up, dented, and faded, 1975 Camero to a sleek and polished 2007 model in less than a week. Normally, such an occasion would raise more questions than that but with the recent events that had unfolded with Sam in the middle; it seemed the simplest one to comprehend now.

"I painted it." Sam replied simply.

"You painted it?" Ron retorted incredulously.

"Yeah. You'd be amazed what a simple coat of paint can do." Sam added, laughing unconvincingly and scooting closer to the door.

"Like make your car look 32 years newer?"

"Yeah! Exactly!"

"So, painting your car changed not only its physical appearance but its entire year model as well?"

"Good body shop. Top of the line. All the way." Sam stammered, nodding a little too enthusiastically as his hand reached the door knob. "Anything else you wanna ask, dad?"

Ron sighed heavily, clearly defeated. "Nope, just had to be sure."

Sam nodded again, shifting his weight back and forth on his feet. "Well, I gotta go! Off to pick up Miles and do typical teenager stuff. Love ya dad!" He jumped over and gave his father a quick hug before bolting out the door before the older man could ask any other questions.

"Curfew at 11!" Ron shouted, watching as Sam jumped into his car (which gave a satisfied rumble from the engine), waved back at his father and drove off.

Sighing as the car sped of into the distance, Ron absently made the decision to start looking into the body shops around town. His truck could use a touch up as well…


	2. Coloring

A warm breeze drifted through the tree branches that towered over head. Days like this were rare, ones that should be enjoyed for all they were worth. Off in the distance, Will Lennox helped Annabelle toss the ball for the excited golden retriever that waited anxiously for the chance to run.

Annabelle threw hard, the ball going all of about 3 feet, and giggling brightly as the happy dog ran over and plopped the ball at her feet again. "Eww Bear! You drooled on it!" she exclaimed, picking the ball up anyway and throwing it again.

The game lasted until Bear stopped running after the ball and simply sat on the ground and panted at the two. Will smiled and kissed his daughter on the forehead before stepping inside to get a treat for the exhausted retriever.

Annabelle wandered around the yard for a minute before spotting the thing she was looking for off in one corner of the yard. Taking off in an excited sprint, the little girl ran toward the giant metallic shape lying in the grass.

Ironhide wasn't asleep. He was just…lying. With his eyes closed. Despite being enhanced with incredible detection abilities and the skills of a fox, he failed to notice the toddler now tapping his foot insistently.

Annabelle waited for a few seconds before tapping again. Still getting no response but fascinated by the way the light was reflecting off Ironhide's foot, she grinned and reached into her pocket, retrieving a few broken crayons. Pulling herself up onto his foot, she hummed happily and traced her hand onto the shiny surface.

Ironhide, who until now had been lying (sleeping! p) peacefully in the grass was suddenly aware of a very light presence on his right foot. Cracking one eye open and lifting his head high enough to see, he was greeted with the sight of Annabelle happily doodling on his foot.

"**Uhhh…"**

The noise went completely unnoticed to the busy little girl as she continued to draw.

Embarrassment at his current position finally caused him to speak. **"Annabelle, what are you doing?"**

Upon hearing this, Annabelle looked up and grinned brightly. "I'm makin' you pretty!" she exclaimed, drawing a big purple flower as she did.

Wanting to say something else or at least figure out how he'd missed her all together, Ironhide watched in awkward silence as the little girl drew flowers and hearts and smiley faces all over his foot.

Being a weapons specialist, he was trained to deal with wide varieties of torture and confusion that was presented to him. This however was an entirely different level of confusion. Part of him was embarrassed that a human toddler was drawing glittery, pink hearts on his foot but another part of him thought it was actually kind of…cute?

Before he could contemplate the situation further and think of a tactical way out of it, Will came walking up.

"There you are." He said, plucking Annabelle from the large robot's foot carefully. "Giving Ironhide a makeover?"

The little girl nodded happily and grinned at the black autobot. Ironhide in return nodded at her in approval. "**Thank you, Annabelle. The flowers are…very pretty."**

Will smiled and patted the autotbot's colored foot before walking back toward the house with his daughter on his hip. "You ready to move closer to the house, big guy?" Will called over his shoulder.

Ironhide nodded and stood slowly, walking carefully behind the two. Once he got closer to the house, he sat down against the side and watched Will head inside. Just before she disappeared inside, Ironhide heard Annabelle call, "Don't wash off the flowers!!"

Laughing gently, the weapon's specialist looked down at his foot, making sure not to scuff the art the little girl had so lovingly drawn on him. As long as no one found out, keeping a flower on his foot may not be so bad.

* * *

**Hehe, this is what happens when I don't sleep at night. Stories like this are born!!**


	3. Cooking

Maggie was in the zone. Her fingers danced wildly over the keyboard as she pushed herself to finish the paragraph. A pencil stuck carelessly out of her ponytail and a pair of glasses barely hung on to the bridge of her nose. Folders and envelopes were scattered on the floor around her and an exhausted laptop perched on her knee. A mix CD played softly in the back ground and the TV was currently ready to present the 10 o'clock news. Faintly, something smelled like it was burning.

"**Maggie?"**

"One minute." The young woman answered, insert a file into the page she'd been working on. Only a few more paragraphs and-

**"Maggie."** The voice urged again, this time a little more insistent.

"Hold on, I'm almost done." She assured, moving onto the next topic. Now how to deliver the counter point…?

**"Maggie!"**

"Optimus, please. I'm almost done, really. I just have one paragraph left." The girl insisted, pushing herself a little faster. Damn, pushy robot.

"**MAGGIE!"**

Unable to control her frustration any more, Maggie turned and glared at the giant robot peering though the open window next to her. "Optimus, what is it?"

**"The kitchen is on fire."**

"Pardon?"

**"Your kitchen. It's on fire."** The autobot answered simply as if it were the most logical thing in the world.

"Huh? Gah!!" Leaping from her previous position, report completely forgotten, Maggie ran into the kitchen and doused the oven with a fire extinguisher. Once the flames were completely out, she sighed heavily and pulled the charred frozen pizza off the rack. Carrying the almost certainly hazardous pizza over to the trashcan and throwing it away, Maggie looked up at the faint sound of a throat clearing.

**"I tried to warn you."** Optimus offered, watching as Maggie set to work at cleaning up the kitchen.

"Yeah, yeah." She sighed, mopping the white foam up with a towel. "You're right, I got too caught up in my work again."

"**Maggie?"**

"Keller just keeps giving me these bogus assignments and expects them to be done in like, less than a day!"

"**Maggie."**

"I guess he thinks I'm superhuman or something…"

"**Maggie!"**

"Hmm?"

**"You threw the computer into the wall."**

"GAH!!"

* * *

**Yay! My one shots are complete! I'm leaving it on "in progress" thought becuase I really want to pair Ratchet up with someone and possibly bring Jazz back by some act of God. I liked Jazz and it made me sad when he died sniffle Let me know if you have any ideas for pairings!! I'm open for anything! Love you all!!!**


	4. Make over

**Whoo! Okay, first of all, I know Ratchet probably knows way more about human anatomy than this but I made him feign ignorance to make the story work. Also, its fun to see him getting dressed up. Second, I'm not entirely sure all the car facts are right but it seemed good enough for me grin I'm an idiot when it comes to cars anyway. Hope you like it!!**

* * *

"**I am not wearing that."**

"Oh yes you are."

**"I am not."**

"The hell you're not. You made up the rules and you lost so it's time to accept your fate!" Mikaela countered, plucking a glittery, pink antenna ball from its packaging and sticking it on her truck's antenna.

**"But…it's pink…"**

"Yeah, well you made the rules and you agreed to this so I don't feel bad for you." The girl answered, patting the truck's hood comfortingly.

Ratchet grumbled something irritably but sat still as Mikaela dressed him up in several different shades of pink and purple.

The punishment had come from a game Ratchet had suggested himself. Basically, it was like trivial pursuit only with two topics: cars and human anatomy. He would quiz her on cars and she would ask him about the human body. The first to get three questions wrong was the loser and had to endure the rightful punishment.

Had Mikaela lost, she would have had to walk into the auto-tech room at school and admit to everyone in the room that she knew nothing about cars and accept a week of tutoring/schooling from all of the overconfident guys that were eager to show off the minimal skills they possessed.

However, this was not the case. Ratchet had lost then game and thus was to be the victim of the most feminine version of "Pimp My Ride" that had ever been established.

A shudder of embarrassment and downright indignation swept through him as the dark-haired girl wrapped a string of purple Mardi Gras beads around his rearview mirror. **"Is that really necessary?"**

"Entirely." Mikaela answered without looking up. She worked at opening another package of beads and rested her knee against the door.

**"And what question did I happen to get wrong the last time?"** Ratchet asked slowly, a deep sigh escaping him as he realized his driver wasn't going to let up anytime soon.

"How many stomachs a human has." Mikaela answered, pushing a pink, leopard-print steering wheel cover over the steering wheel.

**"Four."** The medical officer said confidently.

"Still wrong. A cow has four stomachs, a human has one."

A soft grumble vibrated through the truck**. "That was a trick question. You said **_**stomachs**_**, not stomach. You purposely made it plural."**

Mikaela giggled and patted the seat. "Well you did the same thing to me with your question about tires and water."

**"Which one?"**

"The one about whether water ever comes out a tire."

**"You said yes and you were wrong."**

"Yeah but you didn't specify what kind of tires. You can never get water out a treadless tire."

**"Exactly."**

"So my question was just as fair as that one. Also, arteries carry blood away from the heart and veins carry it towards."

**"Well the first ever Ford was sold at $265, not $625. And the first auto insurance policy is purchased in Westfield, MA, in 1897."**

"You looked that up." Mikaela grumbled, hanging an air freshener on the mirror.

**"What is that quote? "All is fair in love and war?"…What is that terrible smell?"**

"Pina Colada."

**"It smells like toxic waste." **

"Smartass." The girl muttered, hopping out of the truck and sticking a bright, rainbow heart sticker on the bumper.

Ratchet shuddered again and sighed. **"How long must I keep these horrific articles on until you are satisfied?"**

"Hmm…" Mikaela thought, chewing on her lip slightly. "One week."

**"Five days."**

"Nope, seven."

**"Six."**

"Seven."

**"Mikaela."** Ratchet whined helplessly.

The girl in question giggled a little and nodded. "Okay, okay. Five days and I'll let you off the hook."

Feeling somewhat better, Ratchet sat still as his driver drew little hearts and flowers on the back windows with different colored window markers. Humiliating as it was, he liked the girl and didn't mind so much if it made her happy.

Mikaela heard a soft sigh from her truck and gently patted the hood. "Almost done." She said, pulling out a pack of stickers the little girl next door had given her. She covered the mirrors with clear tape and carefully began to position the stickers around the rim of the glass.

Ratchet glanced over and glared at the glittering stickers. "**Who is that little girl and what is that yellow rodent?" **he asked in a voice laced with distaste.

"This is Dora the Explorer and that is Pikachu." Mikaela answered, grinning.

**"…Why?"**

"Because they're cute."

**"That child has an enormous head and the yellow thing is a rat with stripes."**

Mikaela shrugged and tucked the stickers into the glove compartment. Taking a small step back, she admired her work with a grin. "There! You look beautiful!!"

Sighing heavily in the Pina Colada scented air, Ratchet prepared for the excruciatingly long week ahead.


	5. Battle scars

**Heh, Jazz and Epps comparing battle wounds…[grin**

* * *

Today would have been a perfect day to stay in bed. Epps opened his eyes and blinked at the clock next to the bed. The glowing red numbers read 8:56; not even nine o'clock yet. Sighing deeply, the tech sergeant rolled onto his back and threw and arm over his eyes.

Damn military training. Even when he didn't have to get up and be anywhere he still woke up before nine every morning. A morning chill swept through the house causing goose bumps to prickle across his skin. Winter had come early this year and had begun to seep its way into the house through the windows and across the bare floors.

Sighing once again, reluctant to leave the warmth of the bed but knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, Epps got up and walked towards the kitchen.

The house was unusually quiet but not in the unwelcoming way. His wife and kids were gone for the weekend to visit the grandparents and wouldn't be back for another two days. It was nice to be able to relax and not have to drive his 14-year-old to the mall to meet her friends or bargain with the 5-year-old to keep from watching Spongebob all day.

Epps stopped at the kitchen counter and reached for the canister that held the coffee grounds. A "hm" of disappointment emerged from him as he realized the jar was very light and very empty. He checked the cabinets and pantry for any hidden Folgers that might have escaped but failed to find the object of his desires. With a sigh of resignation, Epps turned and went to put of sweatshirt and shoes. Once dressed, he grabbed his car keys from the counter top and walked out to the garage.

The sky was a deep grey and a harsh wind slapped him across the back as he stepped outside. He could hear a few grumbles of irritation coming from the garage as he drew closer and small smile fell across his face.

**"It is cold as hell in here!"** his car grumbled when he opened the garage door.

"Yeah, well it's even colder out there." Epps offered, opening the door and sliding into the driver's seat. "I'll try to find you a bigger heater today." (1)

Jazz made no comment but slid the seat belt across Epps' lap in acknowledgement. **"So where to?"** he asked after a minute.

"The store. We're out of coffee and that's just unacceptable." His driver replied, reaching for the transmission. A twinge in his shoulder caught him off guard and his hand twitched involuntarily. Gritting his teeth sharply, Epps managed to hide the wince for the most part and waited until the feeling returned to his hand again.

He'd gotten good at hiding pain around his wife and kids to keep them from worrying but found it was all but impossible to hide it from a transforming car.

**"What's wrong?"**

"Huh?"

"**Don't "huh" me. You just winced. What's wrong?"**

Realizing that lying was pretty pointless be this point, Epps sighed and rolled his shoulder. "It's nothing, just an old battle scar that acts up every once in a while."

"Battle scar?"

"Yeah, I got shot through the shoulder back when we first landed in Qatar. It screwed up the muscle pretty bad and when it gets cold like this is makes it stiff."

Several seconds of silence passed between the two. "That's it?"

"Huh? What do you mean that's it?" Epps asked, raising an eyebrow.

"**I mean that's all? That's not so bad."**

"Not so bad?! I got shot!"

**"I've been shot too. With a canon. So?"**

"So I'm not made of metal and it does a little bit more damage. Also, it hurts like hell."

"**Oh."** Jazz thought for a few minutes, his engine humming silently**. "Pussy."**

"What?!" Epps demanded angrily.

**"I said you're a pussy."**

"Oh, like you have anything better." Epps snarled, irritation growing in his from both the cold and the numbing throb that vibrated down his arm.

**"Man, I hit an asteroid the size of Texas on the way here and it fucked me up pretty bad. You don't see me complaining."**

"You're made of metal!! You can take a lot more abuse than a human can!" The tech sergeant countered. "I got hit by a car when I was 15, broke both hips, and was in a wheel chair for three weeks!"

**"Yeah? I got thrown off a cliff into lava and in the process lost an arm! It took 3 **_**months**_** to find the parts to replace it!"**

**"**Have you ever tried to parachute out of a plane and land in a tree? I could have made a two-story bird house with all the twigs I picked out of my ass by the time it was over with!"

**"Have you ever had you head knocked off and kicked a mile away?"**

"Can't say I have." Epps retorted, his voice sharp and clipped. "But I have a metal plate in my head from being hit with a baseball."

**"I was used as a battering ram to break down a door!"**

" I shattered twelve ribs and did 100 push-ups regardless."

"**So? Man I had a boulder fall on top of me and managed to crawl out and resume fighting in under 10 minutes.**

"I have two kids!"

"**I got ripped in half!"**

Another awkward pause filled the garage for a few seconds. "Wait, what?"

"**Ripped. In. Half."** Jazz said again, putting emphasis on each word.

Epps was silent for a few more seconds. "Alright…touché."

"**Damn right. Whatever the hell that means."**

Both car and river took a deep breath to release the tension that had built up over the past few minutes. Finally, once each was calm enough to talk, Jazz spoke up.

**"So, coffee right?"**

"Yeah." Epps nodded, turning up the heater so that it warmed the car from the inside out.

**"Bitchin'. I like these early morning conversations."**

"Yeah, me too."

**

* * *

****(1) Who says cars can't get cold too??**


End file.
